The reality is that we all struggle and fall short of the glory of God. As Jesus said, we are all broken and sick and need a physician.
However, people have difficulty accepting their brokenness. We have difficulty admitting our weaknesses and insecurities. We would rather live in denial and pretend that we have it all together. Accepting our brokenness requires humility.
And yet, the fact that we are broken is actually the standard the Bible tells us to use to judge ourselves. We need to remember our standard to judge ourselves is not an ideal standard; it is a broken standard based on broken people. God remembers that standard when he measures us. He knows that we are a bunch of broken strugglers.
When we judge ourselves with grace and compassion, we are able to extend that grace and compassion to others, especially our spouse.